A public forum for illegal aliens, terrorists, gang members, criminals, and any other interested persons.
Inquires are chronologically posted from bottom to top, top being most recent
To submit your question or comments without submitting your personal information, Click here
Page 8
12/02/08 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am a Ron Paul supporter. Can you please tell me why he hasn't said anything about Barack Obama's fake birth certificate?

Dear Ron Paul supporter,
Ron Paul has hypnotized persons like you into believing that anything he does or doesn't do is for a good reason and shouldn't be questioned. The reason the main stream media and congress aren't talking about Obama's fake birth certificate is because to make an issue of it would impede amnesty. While Ron Paul claims he is opposed to amnesty, his House votes seem to indicate otherwise. For example, he has opposed any form of workplace enforcement. He opposes the military on the border and he also voted twice for the 245(i). It's a mystery why Ron Paul won't say anything about Obama's fake birth certificate, but by not doing so, he is virtually supporting amnesty.
01/10/09 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am an atheist who discovered that the constitution is unconstitutional. I came to this conclution because there is reference in Article VII of the constitution to the "year of our lord."  What do you suggest I do about it?

Dear Atheist,
Find a lawyer who will take your case to the U.S. Supreme Court. The court is likely to side with you.
02/07/09 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am a poor Mexican who would like to get a job in the U.S. I have heard that your economy is very bad right now, but it isn't as bad as it is here in Mexico with all the indiscriminate kidnappings, nearly daily beheadings, and gangs that mock and kill government agents -- it's a mess. I have also heard that your new president wants to make it easy for would-be border crossers like me to contribute to the stimulus package by providing jobs for us. Moreover, the economy here in Mexico is worse than yours. Is there any reason you can think of against me sneaking into the U.S. now?

Dear Poor Mexican,
You should hold off on sneaking into the U.S. for now. As you imply yourself, Mexico is a basket case that is getting worse by the day. It won't be long before the drug cartels take over the Mexican government which will lead to anarchy. When that happens, you and your family should sneak over the border and give yourself up to the U.S. Border Patrol and put in your claim for political asylum -- which you will easily get.

P.S. Keep this to yourself, or there will be millions more like yourself that will put in their claim for political asylum who will compete for jobs and accelerate U.S. bankruptcy.
01/25/09 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am a Mexican politician. I keep hearing how Mexico is to blame for the drug problem in the U.S. But if there wasn't such a Huge demand for drugs in the U.S., there wouldn't be the problem today.

Dear Mexican Politician,
Here's the classic Mexican talking point: If there wasn't such a high demand for drugs in the U.S. the problem wouldn't exist. This talking point is used to dismiss Mexico's part of the blame of the drug problem. You could say the same for car accidents: if there were no demands for cars, there would not be traffic accidents. Americans didn't wake one day and demand cars. The reason there is a large demand for cars, is because the car was invented and the car industry markets their products. The same is true for the drug industry -- they market their products in the U.S., even giving promotional free samples. So let's reverse the talking point: If there were no drugs in the U.S., there wouldn't be a demand for them.

P.S. I do not support the death penalty for some drug traffickers, but the "zero tolerance" policy of Singapore which has virtually eliminated its drug trafficking proves that if harsh punishment were applied to Mexican drug criminals it would kill their drug business in the U.S.
02/01/09 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I disagree with you on your advice to the Mexican politician below. I am a Libertarian who thinks the scourge of drugs is public and societal because the drugs are illegal, so there's lots of money in running the risk and supplying them. Legalize the drugs and the money goes away. Then you'll have private tragedies, as with alcohol, but not societal destruction, as with illicit drugs.

Dear Libertarian,
On the surface, your argument seems logical. But I do not accept your premise that the "money goes away." During prohibition, the Brunfman Brothers in cahoots with Al Capone ran homemade booze from Canada to the U.S. The ending of prohibition simply legalized the Bronfman booze dynasty to form the Seagrams Distillers Co. But you cannot compare today's Mexican cartels to the 1930's gangsters. Those gangsters just fought amongst themselves. Mexican cartels would not only fight among themselves, but anyone who would get in their way including the U.S. government in order to "legally" sell drugs in the U.S. The violence to control the "legal" distribution of drugs on this side of the border would make the Saint Valentine's day massacre look like child's play. And just as it is a myth that legalizing illegal aliens would stop future illegal immigration, it is a myth that legalizing drugs would stop the underground distribution of drugs to children and closet users of drugs. And what about subscription drugs -- are we to legalize them too?

With regards to societal destruction: Many people can continue to function when using drugs (including alcohol), but not those who use crack cocaine. Crack cocaine is the most debilitating recreational drug in existence.
THE BIG MYTH: "Crack cocaine users commit crime to get the money to buy cocaine." The reason crack users commit crime, is because they can't hold down a job--not because crack is expensive--it's not.  Several "rocks" at a cost of $5.00 to $10.00 a rock, will keep one person high all day. Anyone with even a job at McDonalds could afford to use crack if they could keep their job--but they can't. The bulk of their crime is for money to pay the rent, to pay the mortgage, to buy gas for their car, and a myriad of necessary expenses that cannot be paid for if a crack user doesn't have a job. The damage to society would be horrendous.


03/23/09 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am an economist who supports Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. I believe he is he best person for the job to get the U.S. out of its economic crisis. So let me ask you, who do you think would do a better job.

Dear Economist,
If I were president, I would have chosen Peter Shiff because he used common "no-brainer" sense to accurately predict the present crisis. Shiff was laughed at by the pundits, But Peter Shiff had the last laugh.
04/07/09 Email exchange

Dear Hal,
I am a victim of political persecution in my country. I would like your advice as to the best way to get political asylum in your country.

Dear Political Persecution Victim,
Your best bet is to sneak into the U.S. and remain in the U.S. illegally. This is not a problem because once you get into the U.S., it's legal to be illegal.

There is too much risk in applying for political asylum. You may be turned down even if you have strong evidence of political persecution. You wouldn't want what happened to Auxiliadora Martinez to happen to you.
04/04/19 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am a student terrorist in OJT (On the Job Training) in Pakistan. I would like to go to America to launch a terrorist attack in Los Angeles. In reading some of your past ASK-HAL columns, I felt certain that you could give me good advice on how best to get into the U.S. and how best to pull off an attack in Los Angeles.?

Dear Terrorist in Training,

The best thing you can do is learn from history. You don't have to worry about U.S. law enforcement learning from history because they keep repeating it thinking that "this time" there will be a favorable outcome. One of the best ways to terrorize a city is with FOOD POISONING.

I will go through an analysis with you based on past history to determine what to do and what not to do. First, please watch this 20 minute video.

- The first thing you must do is develop a strategy to get into the U.S. You should travel as a tourist to Mexico. There's not much red tape in getting from Pakistan into Mexico -- almost all Mexican immigration officials will accept bribes -- just have plenty of money with you. Next, find a coyote (smuggler) who will guide you across the U.S. / Mexico border. Professional smugglers know where the best spots along the new fence are easily crossed. Be sure to dress properly for the crossing because the new Secretary of the DHS, Janet Nepolitano, says that she wants the border patrol to arrest only bad illegal aliens who are drug smugglers and terrorists -- not (as Arizona Congresswoman Gabriel Giffords says), good illegal aliens who just want to wash dishes. Although ICE claims it doesn't profile, I wouldn't bet on it. You shouldn't dress to look like any of these guys. You should look like a dish washer or someone who fits in this group
- Before you leave Mexico, be sure to pick up the handbook put out by the Mexican government which gives you good pointers on how to sneak into the U.S.
- When you launch your attack, don't commit suicide. If you do, then you won't be able to pull off another terrorist attack in the future (don't worry, Allah will still reward you with 72 virgins whenever you do die).
- In the 20 minute video, Shilah used a salmonella strain in her attack which just made people sick. If you want to be rewarded by Allah, you should use a strain that will kill the infidels.
- Your coyote will have one of his connections on the U.S. side transport you to Los Angeles. Once you get to Los Angeles, disguise yourself as an illegal alien -- the LAPD will not hassle you if you look like an illegal alien. As this video shows, Special Order 40 prevents the LAPD from asking you about your immigration status.
- The city and county of Los Angeles will help you get established. Go to the Office of Immigrant Affairs and the County of Public Social Services. You don't need any ID. You simply make up a name. These organization will take your word for it and won't ask you about your immigration status.
- To pull off a BioAttack, you should look and act like an illegal alien vendor. The LAPD doesn't enforce the law against illegal vending, so you don't have to go through the trouble of buying a vendor license or a certificate from the Department of Health.
- You should not carry any ID because the LAPD has a No-ID-and-Walk policy. You will be asked for an ID, but if you can't produce one, they'll let you go on your way.
- But you will need a Matricula Consular ID in order to launch a BioAttack in a federal building. Federal buildings use metal detectors, but a small vile of salmonella won't be detected. All federal building have snack bars. You can spray salmonella in the food at the snack bar.

Now you may be wondering if the FBI is reading this web page and will come to arrest us both. Not to worry. I have written the Former Secretary of the DHS, Tom Ridge, the FBI, the 9/11 commission, and scores of congress representative and the LAPD Police Chief on this issue. They have all ignored me.
04/29/09 Email exchange

Dear Hal,
I am an activist opposed to illegal immigration. Now that there is a chance of a Swine Flu Pandemic, maybe our politicians will close the border. What do you think?

Dear Activist,
If you think a swine flu pandemic will wake the "leaders" up, I want to sell you the Brooklyn Bridge. In 2005 when there was the possibility of a Bird Flu epidemic, I sent letters to local, state, and federal politicians to warn them of the possibility of the disease coming in from Mexico and spreading in Los Angeles. Since I didn't hear from any of them, I can only conclude that they want to protect the "rights" of illegal aliens so much, that they don't give a dam if Americans die from the flu.
08/12/09 Email exchange

Dear Hal,
I am a Progressive who supports President Obama's push for socialized medicine. Just today, I saw statistics showing life expectancies of countries such as Switzerland (79.6)and Canada (79.4) that have socialized medicine and have a higher life expectancy than the U.S. (77.1). That should convince you that you will live longer if we have socialized medicine.

Dear Progressive,
You forgot to mention Mexico which has socialized medicine and whose population has a life expectancy of 71.5. Of course, the president's statistic takers have not considered the effect of illegal immigration on life expectancy averages in the U.S. This is because most Democrat and some Republican politicians extend an invitation to illegal aliens to immigrate illegally. Illegal aliens are sometime referred to as having immigrated Without Inspection. While legal immigrants are checked for diseases, illegal aliens aren't.
05/07/10 Email exchange

Dear Hal,
I am an illegal alien living in Arizona. With the new law known as SB1070, I am afraid that I will be busted one of these days for driving without a license at which time I will be deported. What should I do?

Dear Illegal Alien,
Move your family to San Francisco. Mayor Gavin Newsom supports illegal aliens and opposes Arizona's law.

05/16/10 Email exchange

ILEGAL ALIEN: Dear Hal, as an immigration activist, I plead with you to please lobby Arizona to go after the illegal alien criminals, drug runners, and terrorists -- not us hard working, honest, tax paying illegal aliens.

HAL: Dear hard working, honest, tax paying illegal alien. When a cop stops someone where there is probable cause that the suspect is in violation of federal immigration law, how would a cop know who is an illegal alien criminal, drug runner or terrorist from a hard working, honest, tax paying illegal alien?

ILEGAL ALIEN: By profiling of course.
10/03/10 Email exchange

Dear Hal,
Even though I am an illegal alien, I support Meg Whitman against my fellow illegal alien, Nicandra Diaz Santillan. We illegal aliens applaud Meg for being such a good boss and hope that all ex-illegal aliens who are now naturalized American citizens will vote for her because she paid Diaz $23.00/hour -- I wish I could find an American boss who will pay me that kind of money. I also applaud U.S. District Court Judge Charles Breyer for blocking the sending of no-match letters. Also, credit should be given to Jerry Brown for not arresting Diaz on charges of possessing a phony driver's license, ID theft, and violating immigration law.

Dear Illegal alien,
Be thankful that so many bureaucrats, politicians, lawyers and judges are on your side.