A public forum for illegal aliens, terrorists, gang members, criminals, and any other interested persons.
ASK HAL
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Page 6
06/26/07 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
It seems to me that the senate is the most corrupt body of government and represents the people of this country the least . I think this body of government has out lived it's usefulness. Is there anyway for the people to come together and disband the Senate?
ricoroc

Dear Ricoroc,
You are right about the Senate -- and they will be dealt with by the citizenry -- but not until we reach a state of crisis. As Glenn Spencer of American Patrol once said: "You don't know you're being invaded until you try to stop it."  Like a drunk who must hit bottom before he gets help or dies, Americans will rise up when they inevitably see America hit bottom.
08/04/07 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
In perusing this website, I noticed that you had obtained a fake Mexican matricula ID card for yourself. I will be visiting the Los Angeles area sometime at the end of this year. How can I get a Mexican matricula ID card for myself and what are the risks?
Jed

Dear Jed,
In California, it is against the law to distribute fake documents if they have a potential when presented, to be mistaken for official documents. But to convict fake Matricula distributors, the cops have to launch lengthy sting operations sometimes as long as six months. That's why the cops who patrol in their black and whites in the areas where fake documents are manufactured and sold, don't bother with the vendors.

But you are not a distributor. In your case, it is not against the law to buy or posses a fake matricula any more than it is against the law to buy or posses play money as long as neither contains a forged U.S., state, or local government seal (foreign seals don't count). It's only against the law if you try to use a fake matricula to falsify your ID just as it is also against the law to try to buy groceries with play money. (when I was arrested in Garden Grove, California, the cops said nothing about my matricula they found when they went through my wallet). Moreover, the L.A. ordinance which officially recognizes foreign IDs says nothing about possession of a fake Matricula ID.

To get your matricula, go to the SE corner of Alvarado Street and Wilshire Blvd in the MacArthur Park area of Los Angeles. There you will find a thriving group of underground venders (operating in the open) selling items ranging from chicharon to drugs. The matricula venders hang around the 99 Cent Only Store (see details) eyeing people who look like they want to buy their goods much like the way used car salesmen eye people on their lot who are kicking tires.

Go up to any one hanging around and ask for Valdo (he speaks some English and is my favorite vendor). If Valdo isn't available (he sometimes takes the day off), any one of the other vendors will be eager to help you. The going price to Hispanics is $30.00, but the vendor will try to negotiate a higher price if you are an "rich" Anglo, but don't pay more than $40.00.

Before you go to buy your matricula, be prepared to provide the vendor with the following information you want on the card:
- The name you want to show (your own name or one you make up).
- The address of where you live in the U.S. (your own address or one you make up).
- Your birth date (your own or one you make up).
- Where you were born in Mexico (wink, wink -- nudge nudge).
- A copy of your signature that can be scanned (or tell the vendor to just simply jot any unreadable signature that barely resembles the name you will use).
- A passport style photo without a hat or your glasses (but since you will not be using your matricula to falsify information, you can use any decent photo. Just tell the vendor that it doesn't matter to you if the photo doesn't meet passport standards).
NOTE: If you don't have a photo, the vendor will take you to a photo shop two blocks away where you will have your picture taken for $10.00.

Other than paying for your photo, do not pay the vendor until he delivers the product. You will be asked to wait across the street at the park or if you're hungry, you can kill some time at Langer's Deli just down the street. It takes from one to two hour for the card to be delivered to you. If you don't want to wait, give the vendor your cell phone number and he will call you when the card is finished.

To stay out of trouble, don't try to use your new matricula as an official ID. However, if you are a deadbeat dad who doesn't want to be traced as you flee to another state, you can use your matricula bearing false information to board an airliner.
08/17/07 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I notice that whenever an illegal alien commits a heinous crime such as the Newark murders, you jump on the issue. For your information, there are many more home grown Americans that commit heinous crimes. I agree with the mayor of Newark that crimes by illegal aliens are unrelated to their immigration status.
Jake

Dear Jake,
Let me ask you a question: Do you think that in the months before the 9/11 attack, when four of those terrorists who had overstayed their visas at which time they became illegal aliens, were stopped by local police for speeding, that it was the right thing for the police officers not to have arrested them using your argument that their immigration status was irrelevant to their crime? Of course it wasn't the right thing for the officers to do!!!

You justify the presence of illegal alien criminals by arguing that there are more home grown American criminals. Don't you think that we have enough of our own homegrown criminals to deal with than to extend an invitation to the rest of the world's criminals?
09/08/07 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
Why does the ACLU protect child porno perverts.
Mr. Normal

Dear Mr. Normal,
The reason that the ACLU protects perverts is because they are perverts.
10/02/07 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am a poor unemployed American living in East Los Angeles who struggles each week in meeting the cost of groceries for my family. I noticed that you are pushing for Walter Moore to be our next Mayor. If he and people like him get elected who want to enforce immigration laws, they will destroy the Los Angeles economy. When I go shopping if Walter Moore, god forbid, gets elected, I will have to pay $5.00 for a head of lettuce.
Paula Poor

Dear Ms. Poor
On September 20, 2007, Los Angeles County Supervisor Mike Antonovich released a report showing that the county's annual cost of illegals on Taxpayers Exceeds $1 Billion. When Walter Moore gets elected, he might use the $1 Billion dollars saved by virtue of illegals leaving Los Angeles, to buy 1 Billion heads of lettuce and distributed them to poor Americans like you. Of course, you won't be poor anymore, because you will have the job that illegal quit.

11/04/07 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am an illegal alien from Honduras living in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Living here is becoming unbearable for me ever since the new law went into effect. I think I will have to leave Oklahoma. Do you think I will have to go back to Honduras in order not to be  hassled?
Robert

Dear Robert,
No, you won't have to go back to Honduras. You should relocate to Los Angeles. There you will find L.A., Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, and Police Chief Bratton, to be very illegal alien friendly. When you arrive in L.A., be sure to visit their Office of Immigrant Affairs. They will help you get settled.

In L.A. you don't need a drivers license. Driving without a license makes sense because you never have to worry about having your driver's license suspended. If you are stopped by a cop, the worst that can happen is that they will impound your car and make you walk home. That's why you should always drive an old jalopy not worth more than $500. That way if your car gets impounded, you will be able to afford another jalopy.

L.A. also offers other benefits for illegal aliens: There's Special Order 40, and Mexican Matricula Consular IDs that will provide you with a variety of city benefits (don't worry about not being Mexican. Just get yourself a fake one that says your from Mexico).

Although Los Angeles is a safe haven for illegal aliens right now, you should save your money so that you can return to Honduras when Walter Moore gets elected as mayor in 2009.
11/24/07 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am a liberal who wants to do good for the poor and oppressed. I noticed that when you refer to people like me, you use the term "politically correct" a lot. Just what do you mean by "politically correct."
Larry Lib


Dear Larry,
The use of the term "politically correct" was started some years back by conservatives to describe issues whose wording alone offended liberals -- regardless of the merits of the issues.  As an example, in 2003, the County of Los Angeles considered changing the labels on all hard drives of all county computers because a single county worker was offended by the word "slave" on the hard drive labels. You can read about this politically correct insanity here. Then click here.

If you find this posting to be offensive, then you are a politically correct person.
12/07/07 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am an illegal alien MS 13 gang member from El Salvador, and I'm sick and tired of being harassed by Republican candidates for president. Tom Tancredo is even running negative propaganda ads about my friends and me. What should I do?
Li'l Putito.

Dear Li'l Putito,
You should move to criminal friendly Los Angeles with as many of your home boys as possible so that you all will become a powerful voting block in L.A.'s neighborhood councils in order to be able to influence the mayor and city council to protect your gang members (not that they need influencing). In case you didn't know it, you and your criminals pals can vote yourselves into office even if you are illegal alien criminals -- you can even run for office in your own neighborhood council. You should also complain to MALDEF and the ACLU about how you are being harassed and profiled just because of your skin color -- they will sue anyone who wants to put you in jail.
12/19/07 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am a Corporate Farm Executive for a large lettuce grower who is responsible to our stock holders to see that they earn profitable dividends. I would like to be able to use the existing H-2A Visa program as a very small group of my competitors do to get all the seasonal workers I need. But under that program, I will have to increase the workers' pay to minimum hourly wages, provide them with health care benefits, housing, and transportation -- not to mention a mountain of red tape. If I do all that is required, I might as well hire legal workers which will cut into our profits. What should I do?

Dear Corporate Farm Executive,
Get your PR people to set up a propaganda program with the objective of convincing the public and the politicians that without illegal labor, the unpicked lettuce will rot in the fields and will ultimately end up costing the consumer $5.00 per head of lettuce. You must convince the politicians that you would like to use the H-2A Visa program, but that it must be streamlined to be the equivalent of hiring illegal alien workers -- that is, the H-2A program should not require all that bothersome paperwork and as an employer you should not be made to provide minimum pay, health insurance, housing, and transportation.

Plan B: If the politicians won't go along with your streamlining plan, simply continue to hire illegal alien workers who don't like the cumbersome H-2A program either. This will give you an edge over your competitors who do use the H-2A Visa program.
01/06/08 Email exchange
Dear Hal,
I am a Nestle's Food contractor. Thousands of people in Los Angeles say that if some of the new anti-illegal immigration laws sweeping the country ever come to Los Angeles, it will kill L.A.'s economy and businesses like mine who are instrumental in supplying your kids with choclate drink -- and as you know, thousands of people can't all be wrong.
Nestle's Contractor.

Dear Nestle's Contractor,
Thousands of people can be wrong if they latch on to a lie that agrees with their political beliefs. And it is greedy business groups that launch the Americans don't want to work propaganda. Until the illegal alien work force underbid American workers and displaced them, Americans were doing all the work they are alleged not to want to do.
01/15/08 Email exchange
Dear Hal, What do you think is the top political issue for the 2008 electorate.
Concerned Citizen

Dear Concerned Citizen,
Clearly, BullShit is by far the top issue of the voters as reported by guest poll tracker, Kip O'leary on ONN. Watch
03/05/08 Email exchange
Dear Hal, I am a poor Mexican with a large family living in Mexico. I make a meager living selling canaries to American tourists. The small amount of money I earn is enough to live on, but whenever I or one of my family members gets sick and has to see a doctor, all my savings are wiped out due to the medical bill I have to pay (national health insurance in Mexico sucks and is provided only to some who work for some large Mexican companies). Some of my compadres who have snuck into the U.S. tell me that they earn enough money to send home that not only provides for some of the essentials, but they can afford to pay a doctor when someone gets sick. The word has gotten around here in Mexico that your new president-to-be will be illegal alien friendly. I would like to know what the best way for me to take advantage of your new president when he or she is elected so that I can afford a doctor when one of us gets sick -- should I sneak into the U.S.?

Dear Poor Mexican,
You should wait before you sneak into the U.S. because how your health care costs will be covered depends on who gets elected to be our president in November. If John McCain wins the presidency, you should stay in Mexico and continue to sell canaries because as a senator, one of the provisions of his failed 2005 amnesty proposal, was for American insurance companies to provide health care for Mexicans in Mexico. If McCain is elected president, he is bound to make the same proposal after he secures the border (wink-wink, nudge-nudge). The same holds true if Barack Obama gets elected -- he co-sponsored McCain's health-care-for-Mexico legislation. But if Hillary Clinton gets elected, waste no time in sneaking into the U.S. because she will provide national health care for everyone including those like yourself. Question is: Will it be better than what Mexico provides?